Wagtails Following Misfortune
by Shintouyu
Summary: Kamijou Touma can't ever catch a break. [One Shot]


**Wagtails Following Misfortune**

[One-Shot]

_Such Misfortune At Tokyo_ - **Kamijou_Touma**

* * *

Today I, this humble Kamijou Touma, was once again experiencing such misfortune.

For the past two years, after I had 'graduated' from Academy City, I have had trouble finding and holding a job and now I have once again hit another financial snag.

I could probably returned to Academy City and become a janitor or something but I honestly didn't want to return to that isolated city-state located within Japan and meet anybody troublesome - like a certain high-strung Sparky that was now a professor. And so I came here to Tokyo where I was hoping to land a job with one of Academy City's affiliates, Mid Bio Informatics, or more commonly known as MBI to the public, since I didn't really have the credentials for anywhere else.

You see, I didn't exactly 'graduate' at the top of my class or had excellent 'grades' but the fact that I was essentially an Academy City alumni should be good enough for me to land a desk job. If that didn't work out then my only fallback plan was physical labor; I'm not sure why but Tokyo has seen a pretty large increase in job opportunity and employment rate as of recently.

Now, that was what was _suppose_ to happen... but my luck seems to have ran out on me once again.

Several hours earlier, I was at the airport waiting to get into Tokyo but the inspection line was being held-up by MBI's faulty equipment.

The new machine was a portable DNA-Analyzer in the form of a suitcase that would cross-reference its results to a large database for any possible criminal people trying to get through. However, it was, so far, extremely buggy for its first day debut in the real world, as it pretty much flagged every one-out-of-sixth person.

I felt almost bad that technology was only at this level outside of Academy City, especially since MBI calls itself a proud affiliate of said Academy City, but I suppose that couldn't really be helped considering that Academy City was always technologically decades ahead and far more efficient than any other place in the world.

And so just as my luck would have it, meaning that I have none, when it had come to my turn to be checked, the sensors went off and I was immediately flagged.

Politely, I was redirected to a waiting room where all the others before me were double-checked and then allowed to continue with their business shortly afterward. But, in my case though, that didn't happen, as I sat waiting for hours before anybody came to explain what the problem was to me.

[...]

So here I was, this Kamijou Touma, sitting in a room waiting for an answer after having already been delayed for several hours.

I sat on the comfy couch with my arms shrugged back over the seat while watching the slowly spinning fan on the ceiling, when I suddenly feel this ominous presence coming my way.

It was such an intense aura. Dangerous and murderous and most assuredly not normal.

An Esper? A Magician? Shit, what do they want with me?

The door bursts open as a swift black and silver blur comes my way.

Instinctively my right hand thrusts out to protect me from bodily harm; it catches and firmly grips something as I stare at my assailant.

It was a woman wearing all black with a gray coat draped over her shoulders with a brown criss-cross belt wrapped around her hips. She had long gray hair tied into a pony-tail and her eyes were a deep jet-black like an endless swallowing abyss.

She gives me the impression of an 'Older Sister' type of person, which is odd since I'm twenty years old now. Surely enough, she also brought to mind of Kanzaki Kaori for some reason. That's strange since they only superficially resembled one another, though I suppose its because I'm getting attacked by a beautiful older sister type yielding a dangerous Japanese blade that is causing the faint resemblance.

I mean, I certainly had a weakness for older sister types, that's the kind of girl I prefer after all, but I also had a weakness for sharp objects since I'm made out of flesh and blood too...

Tightening my grip, I notice that my right hand was clenching on her hand that was holding onto the hilt. I'm not sure why my assailant didn't chose to decapitate me from afar with the length of her blade, but I'm grateful that she didn't; the only reason I'm alive is because she's so close to me.

The gray-haired woman shows a momentary expression of surprise before trying to knee me in the head, which I respond by using my free hand to grab her offending leg and prevent the strike from gaining any damaging momentum.

She grins and whistles, "Hey, you're pretty good," closing her eyes in a smile, "What do you plan to do now?"

Ah damn it, is she playing around with me? Is she _that_ type?

Nevermind, I have a situation on my hands. What is going on here?

Why did this black-dressed woman try to kill me? Using a sword in this day and age, she's definitely not an Esper. A Magician then? No, that aura, it doesn't feel like mana...

...I don't feel any other auras around here, so did she come alone? That's great, I can focus dealing with her first then!

I stood up quickly; the surprise allowing me to effortlessly overpower her.

Somehow this woman didn't realize that I was stronger than I looked, despite the fact that I had just stopped her attacks only moments earlier.

Ah, she's _that_ type, isn't she? The types that give away free openings when they get way too interested in something. Why do I have to deal with those type of people? Such misfortune...

No, wait, I can use that to my advantage.

I push her down onto the floor and knock away her sword, but in return she sweeps my feet with her free leg and causes me to fall over with her.

We ended up in a rather sensual position.

With our hands firmly clasped together and stretched above our heads, I on top of her, our face was close enough that we could feel the others' warm breath.

Honestly speaking, this isn't the first time that this has happened to me and I don't think it'll be the last... but I have very little experience in handling awkward positions like this. Fate had a better tendency to conspire for me to walk upon changing or naked women, or the opposite happening, instead of having me rub bodies this close.

It didn't take more than a second for us to realize our positions.

An intense pressure squeezes my hands as she tries to push me off.

Shit, the power being used will be enough to snap my hands backward like a twig! This isn't normal, I can't win in a contest of pure strength against this woman.

As soon as I felt a prickle of crushing grip, I hastily reel back my head and throw a debilitating headbutt. A resounding smack pierces the room as my hard head collides with her forehead.

"You don't go easy on a girl, do you?" she said amusingly, her face was looking flushed but she was otherwise completely unaffected.

Crap, couldn't you have at least winced from that? Give me an instance to back-off? "I don't think I can afford to," I respond. This is why I don't like _those_ type; these battle-freaks are always the toughest to handle.

Just as I was about to headbutt her again, she suddenly wraps her legs tightly around my waist and that just plain made me uncomfortable than I already was.

"Oho?" she licks her lips, "Give me your best shot," she said with hot anticipation as she slowly pours strength in her smaller hands to overpower me.

Quick, Kamijou Touma, think! You've only got a few second...!

Shit, can I push her back? No, she's already on the floor and too strong for me anyways. But she can't push me back either because she's clinging onto me with her legs, though she's planning to crush my hands! Shit, shit! Headbutting or biting her is futile, she can ignore pain all too easily.

Something...! I need something to make her loosen her hold over me. Something the body can't resist, like an involuntary response of some kind...

My assailant's warm breath puffs at my face and a idea strikes me.

I lick my lips subconsciously at the plan: I kiss her and breathe out. My exiting breath should choke her and that would be my chance to escape her grasp.

Just as I was about to act, another woman walks into the room while busily tapping away on a tablet.

She too has gray hair, except short, and sharp black eyes, but, unlike my black-dressed assailant, this woman wore a white lab-coat over some rather normal clothing that gave her the appearance of either a doctor or a scientist and didn't emit any kind of strange aura that I could detect.

"Karasuba, what's taking you so long to report in, have you finis-" the tablet-using woman stops her hands to stare blankly at us.

I can explain this! Somehow...

"Ah," was the sound that my assailant and I uttered in unison.

Well, if this was awkward before, then it was now just plain embarrassing. This can't end well... the many other times when Fate had a another woman walk into a situation that was difficult for me to explain has never ended particularly well for me...

Such misfortune...

[...]

I am sitting on the comfy soft couch where I was almost killed by a sword some minutes ago. In front of my view was the two gray-haired woman, one sitting in the couch opposite of me that was pushed closer and the other leaning casually on the wall.

The person on the couch was a woman by the name of 'Sahashi Takami' and she was an MBI Agent. She had brought in another larger DNA-Analyzer which was lying on the cushion next to her.

Meanwhile, my black-dressed assailant went by the name of 'Karabusa' was the one leaning on the wall with her arms crossed. She had her eyes shut in a smile which I could tell was natural for her; it reminded me a bit of a friend that did the same, a certain 'Aogami Pierce' as we still call him. Even though she has a smile on her face, it seems that Karasuba-san was somewhat disappointed that our little tussle came to an interrupted end.

The cold MBI Agent lights up a cigarette, which I'm sure isn't allowed here, takes a small puff, and then glares at me sharply, "Who are you and who do you work for?" she questions me intensely.

I sigh, "I told you earlier, my name is Kamijou Touma and I'm an alumni from Academy City. I'm looking for a job in Tokyo, so I don't have an employer."

If I had an employer then I would have a job. If I had a job then I would have an income. If I had an income then I would have money. If I had money then I would have bothered coming here to Tokyo to earn some. If I wasn't here in Tokyo then this situation wouldn't be happening to me...

Ah, such misfortune...!

The woman crosses her legs and begins tapping her foot, "I'm a very busy person, so I would like it if you just stopped trying to play dumb with me." At that I quirk a brow. I have no idea what she's talking about. "You realize that you're on the World's Most Wanted List, do you not, Kamijou Touma?"

Using my full name with no honorific? Do you really hate me that much? "Wait... I'm on the World's Most Wanted List?" I voice my thought out loud.

She then raises her own brow, "Explain yourself, Kamijou Touma."

"Hey, I'm the one that wants an explanation," I said exasperated as I ruffle my black hair with a slightly scrunch face, "I don't remember doing anything that was worth putting me up there," I search my thoughts for anything, anything at all, "Except for... damn..."

The two MBI Agents picked up the last part of my remembrance. Ah, I really should have kept my mouth shut.

Damn it. Even when you're gone, you're still giving me trouble Aleister Crowley...

"What are you being so quiet for? Go on, out with it. Don't think I didn't hear you curse about something, Kamijou Touma."

Seriously, what are you so angry at me for?

I need to think of something, "Ah, well, how do I say this...? Before I had graduated from Academy City, I guess you could say that I got on the bad side of an Academy City Director... and they had quite the grudge against me."

"Hmph," Sahashi-san huffed, "This is pretty elaborate for a prank," she said, sarcasm dripping in her voice, of course.

I meekly scratch my cheek, "I was a somewhat of a delinquent back when I was a student." Which was true by Academy City's standard; I wasn't a model student to say the least.

Karasuba-san decided to speak up, "Oh? I wonder what kind of big troublemaker you would have to be to get on the wrong side of an Academy City Director so badly, Tou-kun."

Tou-kun? What kind of nickname is that? Why a nickname so suddenly? Ah... whatever, at least Index or Sparky isn't here to hear this.

"It's a long unfortunate story," I wave it off casually.

A short silence followed before the women realized that I wasn't going to explain my past situation to them.

Sahashi-san sighs and presses her cigarette on the ash-tray that was on the table to her right, "Alright then, Kamijou Touma, let's just say that this is really all just the disproportionate grudge," she looks at me in the eyes with crossed arms, "If I gave you a chance, how would you go about proving your innocence then?"

How would I? "...I suppose I would try and contact somebody from Academy City's Board of Directors to clear this up," I answer questionably with the first thought that came to mind.

Sahashi-san cuts into me with her analyzing gaze for a brief moment before she reaches into her lab-coat and pulls out a smartphone. With a few taps on the screen, she immediately dials up somebody with the speakers turned on. The call reaches a receptionist who then redirects her to the right person.

"Ah, hello, Sahashi-san, what can I do for you?" It was the voice of a young adult male speaking Japanese, though he did sound like he had a bit of an accent; American? "Is MBI having any problems with the products I've been sending over?"

"No, everything is fine. As always, it's a pleasure to do business with you, Johnson-san, and we of MBI continue to look forward to your patronage," she replies professionally, "I'm calling you regarding a different matter today," she says sparing me a fleeting glance, "I have a situation on my hands. I'm currently at the Tokyo Airport with someone on the World's Most Wanted List."

"Hm? That's sounds dangerous, Sahashi-san. Are you safe?"

"Yes, I'm fine. The person in question says that their alumni from Academy City; a one 'Kamijou Touma.' Do you know him?"

Ah, is this 'Johnson' person an Academy City Director?

There is brief silence, in the background an audible tapping can be heard before it stops, and then the man speaks again, "...Imagine Breaker..." he says with a barely hitched voice.

Oh, so he is.

"Imagine Breaker?" the MBI sounds as she tastes the English-spoken title, "What is that, Johnson-san?"

Karasuba-san on the hand seemed to have perked up upon hearing that for reason, a smile was creeping up on her face. That can't be a good sign...

I choose this moment to explain, "Ah, that was a nickname that I had back when I was still a student at Academy City." It was also the name of my Level 0 Esper Ability.

"... Sahashi-san, you said that Kamijou Touma was on the World's Most Wanted List?" the Academy City Director said slowly.

"Yes," the gray-haired woman answers with a puzzled look at me, seemingly trying to decide whether she should glare at me suspiciously or not.

"That must be a mistake," the man stated adamantly, "The reason you called me, is it because it had something to do with Academy City, correct? Then I'll be sure to handle it; Kamijou Touma will be removed from the list as soon as possible. So, will that be all, Sahashi-san?"

"...Yes, that will be all, Johnson-san. Thank you," the woman answers with a quirk brow at me.

"Ah, Sahashi-san," the man continues, "Please tell Kamijou-san that it was I who removed him the list, will you?"

"O-Of course," she accepts with a startled blink.

"I appreciate it," he said before a small click signaled the end of the phone-call.

The MBI Agent lights up another cigarette and narrows her gaze upon me, no doubt wondering what my connection with an Academy City Director could be.

"That was Henry Johnson, an Academy City Director," she puffs out a ring of smoke and gives me a wry frown, "He sends his regards."

"So I've heard..." I scratch my cheek and give my own wry smile. It was getting awfully uncomfortable around here, "So... can I leave now?"

Sahashi-san sighs and then flicks her hand in a 'shoo-shoo' motion. I'll take that as a 'yes.'

Just as I stand up, a small chuckle from Karasuba-san catches my attention. She seems happier now.

"Hey, are you really _The_ Imagine Breaker?" the black-dressed woman said with a hint of excitement in her voice, "The one who beat _The_ Accelerator?"

The smoker just rose a brow at that. The English-spoken titles lacking context probably sounded odd to her.

"You know?" I said tilting my head slightly. Honestly, I am surprised. Even though it was moderately known inside of the relatively isolated academic city, I didn't expect anybody outside to have known who Accelerator was or that I had even beaten him. Not only did most people treat it as pure rumor, information like that was kept a rather tight secret in Academy City. "How?"

"Hm~? I use to have an associate that was pretty good with finding information," Karasuba-san shrugged, "She was pretty curious about the so-called Espers in Academy City and dug up a lot of dirty information about them~" she said playfully.

Ah, wait, someone somehow hacked into Academy City's database from the outside? That should be impossible...! Well... maybe not, Sparky could actually do that, and I think one of her friends from Judgment could do it too... Wait, no, the point is that who outside Academy City could have done that?

Karasuba-san opens up with her eyes and licks her lips whilst placing one hand on the hilt of her blade, "I've always wanted to know how well I would fare against an Esper," she says eying me like candy with a soft purr in her voice, "Especially the one who had beaten Accelerator, the Number One Esper of Academy City... Imagine Breaker."

"Sorry, I'm just a Level 0. There's no way that I could beat a Level 5." Shit, I do not want to fight this person. She could easily tear me apart, I have a feeling that she's as strong as a Saint. The last time I fought one, he beat me within an inch of my life.

Come on, believe me and leave me alone!

"You say that after you've already stopped my first attacks?" she questions me amusingly, "I won't let you off with such a poor excuse, Imagine Breaker~"

Crap.

Come on, Kamijou Touma, think, observe; say something to rattle her!

"Are you really that interested in me? Do you want to ravage me that badly, Karasuba-san?" I ask while readying myself for her initial strike.

Really? That's the best insult you've got, Kamijou Touma? I am out of shape.

"Oh?" the black-dressed woman utters before blinking several times.

Huh? It worked?

As I was lost in my thought, Sahashi-san flusters up and turns to look at her bodyguard, "K-Karasuba, can it be...? You're..."

The sword-wielding woman only shrugs and leans back onto the wall.

Nobody spoke a word after that.

What was that all about?

Ah, who cares, I'm just relieved that I won't have to fight that battle freak...

[...]

It has been about three months since I've first arrived at Tokyo and the season is now early spring.

I've gotten myself a steady job, though unfortunately not one at MBI since all the positions seemed to have been filled for some reason, so now I'm a host.

I had gotten my job of being a host about two months ago. My first job had me working as a janitor for a certain local library and I noticed that a student, Yasaka Mahiro, was having some trouble with solving his practice exam questions. I gave him some tips here and there and eventually I somehow ended up tutoring him almost everyday; I'm glad that he actually paid me money for my assistance later on.

Eventually, by the time the real exams rolled in, Yasaka-san was able to get into the university of his choice, though just barely I should say. However, his plans to be a full-time student required to him reluctantly quit his current late-night job as a host. The kind guy then figured that I could do better than being a janitor and introduced me to his host-senpai, Kagari, and pleaded to his senpai that I should take his now empty spot.

After a few days for a trial period, I was formally hired into the club with Yasaka-san's and Kagari-san's vouching.

And that's how I become a host.

Though I still tutor Yasaka-san and some of his friends every so often.

As for where I had my lodgings, I'm currently living in a small apartment that reminds me a lot of the student dormitory that I used to live in back in Academy City, only smaller, less clean and without a cat and a nun freeloading off of me.

Ah, Index-san, I miss you a bit. I hope you're doing well in Necessarius.

Anyways, the rent is pretty cheap and it's located conveniently near the host club I work at, so it's a nice place.

I have to say that I really like my life at Tokyo right now. It's not quite as exciting or adventurous as my time in Academy City, but the peace is a nice change of pace.

Though, there really is one nagging problem...

I've met Karasuba-san a couple of times whilst out shopping for groceries and she always tries to goad me into a fight. I never accepted but that wasn't the problem, it's the fact that every time we met it was because she was out working.

I honestly don't believe that MBI would send out someone like her for anything, unless it was really important... and really dangerous.

I've also been having this odd feeling that there's an inappropriate increase of abnormals inside of Tokyo.

Because of all the life and death situations that I've gotten myself involved with over the course of my life with Espers and Magicians, I've developed something like a 'sixth sense' that allows me to feel out an abnormal.

However, I can't figure out what this new abnormality in Tokyo is...

I know for certain that Karasuba-san is not an Esper or a Magician but she is definitely something abnormal; and the few occasions I've met Kagari too, he isn't normal either. I'm confident that MBI is involved somehow but I'm not exactly sure how...

At this moment, Tokyo feels like the Dark Side that once prowled Academy City.

It seems that my peaceful days here are coming to an end.

Such misfortune...!

* * *

**Author Notes**

Hello, thanks for reading this one-shot!

It's a really old story were I briefly experimented on first-person. I've spruced it from its original incarnation, but it's only narratively cleaned, as the plot-points (or whatever) have remained relatively the same as I had originally written it... Therefore, I know it sucks and what-not.

If I had to change the setting... then I would make Touma a member of Anti-Skill, who was sent to investigate Shin Tokyo (?) because Academy's City partner, MBI, seemed to be created Espers due to something similar to an AIM field being created there! Or something to that effect. And then shenanigans happen of course.

If anyone wants to adopt (or do whatever) to this idea, then please feel free to do so.

_[Uploaded: 1/29/13] [Corrections (removing 'islands'): 1/31/13]_


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